By Bayo Oluwasanmi
All the General Overseers, GOs, of Nigerian pentecostal churches have been very careful to churn out, as usual, prophecies for 2022.
They have tried as much as possible to err on the side of caution in the era of pandemic. Their prophecies have been a satire of sorts tinged with humor and foolishness to make it rational for confused and disoriented Nigerians.
I come with my prophecies for 2022 in my capacity as the GO of Peoples Church of Repentance, PCR. I’m predicting things to come via powerfully symbolical images and illustrations.
Here we go:
1. Nigeria will be better than death.
2. President Muhammadu Buhari will lift up 200 million Nigerians out of poverty. Buhari will create 200 million jobs. Buhari will build 200 million refineries. Buhari will build 200 million hospitals. Nigerian pentecostal churches will ordain 200 million pastors.
3. The Butcher of Aso Rock, General Muhammadu Buhari, will retire and spend the rest of his life in Sudan. Aisha Buhari will relocate permanently to Aso Rock in 2024.
4. Oil will be discovered in Daura. Once this happens, Fulanis will secede from Nigeria.
5. Naira will become the world’s most recognised and widely traded currency.
6. Three Presidents for Nigeria will emerge from 2023 presidential elections: One Yoruba, one Igbo, and one Fulani. Then, peace and unity will reign in Nigeria. Few months later, Nigeria will break up into 200 new nations.
7. Aso Rock clinic will be transformed to the best hospital in the world. Sick Presidents and other ailing VIPs from all over the world will seek treatment at the clinic.
8. God will appoint a new war commander to fight Boko Haram terrorists, Fulani terrorists, and Bandit terrorists. Divine intervention will be in full control of security nightmare in Nigeria.
9. Buhari will appoint two Supreme Courts Chief Justices: one for the Supreme Court of Nigeria and one for Sharia Court of Nigeria.
10. Pastor RUGA will become the first GO of Church of Zombies of Nigeria. He will be the first Vice Chancellor of Islamic University of Nigeria, Daura.
Happy New Year!
•Oluwasanmi, a public affairs analist can be reached at: bjoluwasanmi@gmail.com
